In
the early 2000’s, I contracted Lyme disease from a tick bite. Because I am from
an area that is not endemic to the disease, it was misdiagnosed for several
years. By that time, it had developed into the chronic form, called late-stage
Lyme.
Lyme is known as the great deceiver because it mimics other
diseases, such as fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis. It caused excruciating
pain all over my body. If I unconsciously started to turn over during the
night, pain would rip through my body. If someone touched my arm, I would have
to fight not to recoil because of the discomfort.
Thankfully, after the correct diagnosis and several long,
long treatments of IV antibiotics, the Lyme went into remission.
The interesting thing was, I didn’t LOOK sick.
There were no lesions, scars, or even redness.
During those years, some well-meaning
friends unknowingly inflicted emotional pain on top of the physical hell I
experienced.
Below are some thoughts for supporting a friend who finds
themselves in a similar position.
What NOT to say to someone with
chronic pain.
·
You don’t
look sick.
Don’t assume if a person looks fine they are not desperately
ill. I perfected a special talent, honed from years of practice. I could chat
with you, and you’d never know I was carefully schooling my features to hide
the stabbing pain. I would tell myself, ‘A little while longer and I can lie
down.’
·
You
should get out more. It’ll make you feel better.
It may be true, but I am the only one who can make that
call.
·
If you
had enough faith, God would heal you.
It still amazes me, but I’ve had people say that. Maybe
it’s true, but it didn’t make me feel any better.
·
You can
handle this.
I used to believe I could handle anything I had to. Not
anymore. The pain was so unrelentingly vicious, I asked my husband to pray I
would die. (He refused, thank God). But, there are some things worse than
death.
What TO say to someone in chronic
pain.
·
I’m so
sorry you don’t feel good.
·
I’m praying for you.
·
How are
you today?
·
Can I do
anything for you?
·
I’m going
to the grocery store. Can I pick up something for you?
·
I make
too much soup yesterday. Thought you might like some.
·
Wondered
if the kids could come over and play at my house for a while. I could pick them
up.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on ways to help someone who
is suffering with this type of unseen disease.
